At work I deal with it every day, but what’s more fun that dealing with it is reading the ones that are forever trapped in our spam filter. After reading I thought to myself, “This is hilarious, but I am pretty sure this is what he is actually trying to tell me” and it begins.
Todays letter comes from “Ali Yaradua” from where of course?
Ah yes, you. I know you. You’re single, aren’t you? Valentine’s day is a sad day for you, isn’t it? Its one day a year you truly dread. You watch happy couples walking down the street hand in hand, going out for dinner, giving each other beautiful gifts, and confessing their undying love to each other. All the pink purple red and white splashed gaily about town makes you feel sick. You wonder to yourself, why me? Why do I have to be alone on Valentine’s Day?
But you are not alone, not anymore. I have created a new holiday for single people to celebrate in place of Valentine’s Day, and so far it’s been a “smashing” success.
Call me what you will, but I often get ideas in my head for (what I think) could be cool youtube videos. For the past 2 months or so I’ve had this idea mulling around my brain that if I could make it look like I lit a match with my sideburns, it would look tough and manly and everybody in the world would want to be my best friend. I’ve also been debating the merits of having such giant sideburns in the first place (other guys think they’re cool while most girls seem creeped out). So I figured I had better hurry up and create this documented evidence that I, at one point, had such sideburns.