Call me what you will, but I often get ideas in my head for (what I think) could be cool youtube videos. For the past 2 months or so I’ve had this idea mulling around my brain that if I could make it look like I lit a match with my sideburns, it would look tough and manly and everybody in the world would want to be my best friend. I’ve also been debating the merits of having such giant sideburns in the first place (other guys think they’re cool while most girls seem creeped out). So I figured I had better hurry up and create this documented evidence that I, at one point, had such sideburns.
Then came the fun part: Trying to figure out how to actually fake that (sadly my sideburns don’t actually light matches on their own). Failed attempts included gluing sandpaper or match strips to my face (NOTE: neither of those came close to working, I just ended up with a lot of glue on my face for the next few days). In the end, the method that worked came from my brother. He said something along the lines of “Why don’t you just ___” (thats right, I’m not giving away my secrets just yet). it was… simple. Maybe a bit stupid… but it would work!
And it did work… just 30 odd tries later. during the process I managed to singe most of the hair off of my right sideburn and burn my tongue. The decision of sideburn reduction was thus made for me as I had to shave them both to keep from looking (even more) like an idiot. But my experiment worked! Oh the things I will do in the name of art, comedy, and pseudoscience!
Stay Classy Interwebs,
Jordan
Jordan’s Sideburns
~RIP~
They were lost in the pursuit of science.