- Bees are and always will be terrifying
- How to poop using the toilet.
- Nothing comes in just one size.. NOTHING.
- Keeping an open mind is a good way to end up in porn.
- Facing problems head on makes them seem more important than they are.
- Death rapes everyone. You’re standing in a line of doomed people.
- Pizza tastes better toppings down.
- Memorizing one good song will get you through any argument with family.
- Some people are born full of shit and they will claw you eyes out before they admit they are wrong.
- How to hate someone
- Nothing is as bad as it was the first time.
- There is noting inspiring about the Impossible. Impossible just means nobody can fucking do it.
- Spiders sit in my shower because secretly, they want to die.
- Swearing is a good way to feel instantly better about anything.
- Being nice to people is the first step to having them fuck you over.
- Doctors will say a lot to get in your pants but it’s purely professional
- Retconning is the worse thing to happen to anything.
- A good way to test for senile parents is to have a phone conversation longer than 20 minutes and if they punch in a number twice or more during that time without checking the line it is time they go to the home.
- Pushing past fear is a good way to get what you want.
- If there is a hole in the wall in a public washroom stay away from in for the love of god stay away.
- Multi coloured candy machines will always give you more of the colour you hate.
- The more money you make the quicker you spend it.
Life Lessons that got cut
- Rape is fun until your number is called
- Shitty windowless white vans are not pussy magnets. More like pussy nets 😉
- Yes Batman can do that
- Making overly long eye contact and then looking puzzled is a good way to fuck with people.
- Nobody expects the unexpected
- Visuals are the best way to get a point across
- Wet cat and dog food stick way worse then wet Cats and Dogs do.imo
- There is never a good time for diaherra.
- If a musician sucks live they are not worth shit.